T-O Baby

A few weeks ago, I did a morning segment on The U, a local morning show in Chicago. If you’re so inclined to watch me be really enthusiastic very early in the a.m., here’s the segment. After talking about foundations for a few minutes, the host asked me what my blog was all about. I knew the question was coming and recited my usual script of beauty discovery with a Chicago filter. But is that me still? I don’t believe so and I think it’s a good thing. If we’re being honest, I no longer strive to be constantly trying what’s new or “trending.” Sometimes what’s trending is awesome but it isn’t what’s driving my interests. Beauty ADD is just that for me.

This is an internal dialogue I’ve been having for awhile. Like six months awhile. It’s why it’s been a minute since my last post. I guess I hit pause. I’m coming out from underneath it but I wanted to let you in on what I’ve been feeling.

This feels like an eternity ago but it’s really where this started. I was hanging out with two girlfriends—one a blogger and the other a former blogger turned normal human (l-o-l).  This was about six months ago, just before the holidays. I was tired. Really just not feeling it anymore. I couldn’t articulate a single source of my fatigue but it was a convergence of everything, blog and beyond: Career, love, friendship, family. I felt like I was aimlessly wandering about without a clear grasp of purpose. I wasn’t seeking an immediate solve but I tend to be impatient so declared at that moment that I was “over blogging.” It was a question as much as it was a declaration.

I knew I was uninspired and reactive. I didn’t feel like I was doing it for me. Deep down, I love that this space is mine, though. So where’s the disconnect? I lamented that being a blogger is synonymous with manufactured living in so many ways. I let my fatigue of so much on the internet get to me. It’s one thing to be really tired of seeing other bloggers being salesy and forceful with another brand’s message and another to hang your hat up entirely. But it did give me pause.

Almost immediately after that dinner, I felt a sense of relief. I started to rethink my sense of obligation to anyone but me. Goodbye to email stress (j/k…email is always stress-y if I let it be), hello to more fun, spending my weekends doing what I want. You may wonder, isn’t that what we should always do? Yes, of course. But it’s really easy to get caught up on what you perceive you have to do for others. Perceive being the operative word. It didn’t take long to feel like me again and quickly led to rediscovering what I love about beauty blogging. I made new friends in the Insta beauty world, became a Glossier rep and started to figure out what I want to do on 312 Beauty that fits with who I am now. We get to evolve. It’s our right as humans.

I have always been true to me but I have let obligation drive how I spend my time and that’s not fair to anyone. For me, it’s resulted in a whole lot of unfinished projects and half-baked ideas. One of the immediate changes I’ve made is not to do anything sponsored and it feels great. It’s not a no forever but it’s right for now. The internet is full of clickbait and advice for advice sake. Thanks, but, you don’t need to be told what to buy and the phrase “I’m obsessed with” dulls with excess use. It’s exhausting.

One of things I wrote at the start of the year when thinking about 2017 was that we were hitting peak self-expression with beauty.

I’m a true believer that to get out of my head and create, I need to give myself some space. It’s why things have been quieter. I plan on hitting my stride soon. In the meantime, we can chat on Instagram where you’re sure to get at least a daily glimpse of a particularly cute Boston Terrier in addition to beauty stories.

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